Saturday, January 9, 2010

Ugly Knitting

Lately I have been relying on Regretsy to get my through the working day
It's hillarious the stuff people actually try to sell.

I also found and old and no longer maintained, but great all the same, blog about ugly knitting called you knit what?

After a few hours of avoiding work thanks to these sites decided to change to looking at some knitting patterns and BANG there was my own ugly horrific patterns to blog about!
So here for you are two horrible ugly knitting pattern abominations.

First up - The knitted goldfish toilet seat cover.

ONE: I hate toilet seat covers. Why do people use them?
Isn't that why you have a lounge room with a couch in it? to sit comfortably in?
Why would you want to spend any more time that you need to on the toilet?
What if it gets dirty? :-s

TWO:Who says thats a goldfish? It looks like a peach toned blob.

THREE:If that is meant to be a goldfish, Why is it looking half submerged in water?
Why would I want to spend my time knitting a totally useless item thats intention is to make it look like there is an orange blob floating in my toilet?
All I can say is at least the pattern is offered for free (by a big USA yarn company)

The other gross ugly pattern I found was on the same site but is from a book. It's actually a book I want and fundementally not a horrible pattern really but....... well you look

It's just a capey thingy, which I like, but I really think people get a bit mad with embellishing.

Random colour/size and style buttons is a hard look to pull off particularly when most of them have 0% functionality.

What's with the blanket stitch egde? why is it white? it looks like the pencil case I made in kindergarten.

Then there is the age old issue with knitting patterns, What the hell was the director of this photoshoot thinking? The hat looks ridiculous and her shirt looks like it's made from old sheet turned into a pesant blouse.
Mind you, I will still buy the book :)